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FLASH! BUTTHEAD IMPEACHED! Butthead! Yes. Butthead! Monica's pet name for Bubba according to the newly released tapes! Butthead!!! BULLETIN! Slick Willy has been impeached, giving Slick Willy the willies. A few months ago he even tried to get Kathleen Willey to pet his Little Willy, in turn giving Slick Willy a worse yet case of his own willies! There is an ongoing official probe into these affairs and attempted affairs, but wasn't it the Presidential Probe that started this fiasco to begin with??? (This marquee is intended to scroll, but may not on some browsers)




~ BILL "I Just Can't Wait" CLINTON ~

PROUDLY PRESENTS ...

SWALLOWGATE '98

IMPEACHMENT '99!


WAITING TO INHALE

The monumental blockbuster winter film that's nominated for 20 Oscars and 40 Dickies, that stars our soon to be ex-prez Billy Clinton, and a fresh new face from Bill's ever growing stable of kneel-in, er, I mean stand-in actresses, Monica Lewinsky.

The Rave Reviews Are In!
Siskel & Ebert gave it 2 Tongues Up!
The Washington Post says it is often frequented by Monica herself as she loves large Posts!
Monica Lewinsky says "It's Bigger than the Titanic"!

HERE IS A GREAT GAME I FOUND WHILE SURFING THE NET: IT'S CALLED PIN THE STAIN ON MONICA. TRY IT, IT'S FUN!



Look who just bLEW-in-skee!

Click GIF for a Good Lewjob!
(To Lewie Lewie's Fan Page)

(There's more than meets the throat here! eye)

Smile pretty. Open wide! Say Ahhh! Ohhh! Oooh! Yes! Ahhh! Yes! Oooh! Yes! Ouch! Be careful, your teeth are sharp!*


Lots of Lew jokes and more!



Includes fun discussion group!



Desperately Seeking Monica? The Starting Page has it all!


Here are a few there are no banners for yet. Here is a fun site with lots of jokes at FIRSTPENIS.COM. Another great one is the WEEKLY POLITICKLE, and of course, CLINTON-LEWINSKY.COM.


I noticed this car parked in a weird way and thought perhaps it was stalled, but not sure. After a few minutes of watching, I seen an American Indian get out on the driver's side. Then Monica Lewinsky exits the passenger side. What was the scoop on this one? A.) A Blown Injun!

I wonder, when with Monica, if Bill practiced "good sportsmanship". (aka "return the favor" or "the golden rule".) Well probably not, I haven't heard it in one of his speeches yet - "And as President of this great land of ours, ah, er, I seem to have something in my teeth. Oh Chelsea, can you see if you can get this out for me? It feels like a hair caught between my teeth. Don't know where it could've came from." I'd like to hear that one!

There was a guy named Bill who thought he was kewl,
Who found a willing throat in a girl named Lew,
For this guy you can kind of say of it, she bLew,
Now the media is all over both of them like gLew,
She remembers, but for him, he hasn't got a cLew!


A young pre-prez got itchy short hairs of a,
Nature I can't share with ya,
As I don't want to cause a scare, uh, uh,
But was Billy Boy aware of a,
Probe after he did Miss America?


Fink Oh, Fink Oh, Kenneth Starr,
Did Billy Boy ever get very far?


We call Bill's wife (probably not much longer) Hillary Rodham Clinton, Perhaps we should call the Prez Bill Hamrod Clinton. No, ramrod may be stretching it a bit!

The Beverly Hillbillys? Not quite. Try the Washington HILLary-BILLYs!


~PUZZLES~



Re-arrange the letters to answer the question.



What did Monica Lewinsky give the President? BWLBOJO
Can you use a nicer name for that? IVGE AHDE
Thanks, that's better. This fiasco has lead to Clinton's ___? NHEAMTCPIEM
Bill must be pretty "small", because you never hear of any women (or men, hehe!) who ___ on him. HKOEC
What kind of sound does Bill Clinton hear whenever he is with Monica Lewinsky? (Hint: Ross Perot has claimed to hear this sound also when he was with Bill Clinton.) A GNTAI GUIKSNC SUDNO




Click to find why evenwon't do Linda Tripp
BILLY BOY



TAKE ME HOME PLEASE!
(Or down to Lew Lew's would be OK, she can give me a Lewie, too!)


Wow! I just got a souvenir from Bubba himself! Really. President Bill Clinton somehow stumbled upon my site here, and was so amused, but touched by it, he sent me a package from the White House. He said in his letter "Dear Dan, After seeing all of these sites, and then yours ... it finally dawned on me ... like what am I doing? Yes, Dan, the whole country, the whole world is having a big laugh .. at my expense. What have I done to my family? Can Hillary find the strength in her heart to forgive me? Dan, since I won't be going out looking for women anymore, I want to give you the special baseball cap I sometimes wore out when I knew I'd be around attractive women. I never let anyone photograph me while I was wearing it. How do you think Monica first noticed me? Yes, I was wearing this cap at the time. Dan, since I will now be a family man, again, this is for you, wear this out around beautiful women. From what I gather about you, you need the help more than I do. Best Regards, President Clinton"



Here I am wearing President Clinton's cap. Thanks President Clinton! It got a little mashed up in the mail, but I'll put it to good use!

E-MAIL BWANA DON SIGN GUESTBOOK VIEW GUESTBOOKMESSAGE BOARD




Or have you had enough of "Lewie Lewie" and rather meet Do's big bro, Fa? Bet you forgot about Heaven's Gate, eh? Well Fa may have forgot about Hale-Bopp, but he hasn't forgot about you and the new millenium!

*I guess you can kind of say she really blew it for the president this time! I hear she has applied for a job at Hooters, whose slogan is "More than a Mouthfull"!

In lieu of me not being able to get any authentic nude Monica pix, you will have to settle for nude Dr. "NOW GO TAKE ON THE DAY" Laura pix!


Please click me ... ... before you leave this site to keep me in the Top 100. Thank You.

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(The Man From S.N.A.F.U.! [Situation Normal: All F*cked Up!])



Background song is Who Do You Love? by the Sapphires (1964, Swan Records).


*This site is made on WebTV and is optimized for the WebTV browser.

If you are viewing this on a PC and there are major compatability problems, E-MAIL ME, and I will *attempt* to remedy it, as I have no PC to see results. Wav files made on WebTV can only be 30 seconds max, so that's why the music cuts off. The FLASH/BULLETIN at the top should be a scrolling marquee, but all browsers may not support this. I found a WEBTV SIMULATOR which may help, under HTML options, choose "Webtv 1.1" and copy and paste in the URL of this Bill & Monica site which is: http://www.geocities.com/BourbonStreet/6951/lewgate.html



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